HOW COURAGE COUNTERACTS ANXIETY
Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Jenny Seiss, joins George in a discussion on the anxieties that every adult faces and the surprising time of life in which most angst originates. Read on to find the answer and a summary of the Recently Pled podcast: Episode #4.
We’re jumping right into the heart of the podcast, where George and Jenny dive into the apprehension many adults face in today’s media-driven world. The issue behind adults not feeling they can articulate their thoughts and emotions outwardly causes people with valid opinions and thoughts to withdraw.
George: How do you take someone who's not an independent person, someone who may come from a sheltered lifestyle and get them to a place where they can be confident?
Dr. Jenny Seiss: You give them courage.
George: I work with spouses who have lived their entire marriage being the subservient spouse. How do you give him or her courage?
Jenny: Well, one thing that is helpful, is understanding how we got to where we are now and how we lost our courage. We're born perfect. Then, things happen and we become discouraged; that's a loss in courage. To me, that's mental illness. People that have mental illness have lost their courage. We need to encourage them. We need to give them courage, to face life, work, relationships, whatever it is by showing them their strengths and letting them know that they matter in a very genuine way.
George: I’m going to steal some free therapy from you, for myself. I find that the degree of importance that I place on someone will directly impact my ability to articulate my thoughts in a confident way. For example, if I'm in front of a judge I've never been in front of before, even if I’m prepared and know I've got a great case, I will still be anxious. I will lose the ability to articulate my argument and I will stumble over my words. Why do I do that?
Jenny: So, this is a theory from Dan Seagull who studies misbehavior and times when we can't get a complete sentence out from a neurological perspective. He’s proved why Adler, a psychotherapist who created theories in which 95% of counseling are based today, was right a hundred thousand years ago.
It’s called over reaction and under reaction. When we're in a situation that brings to memory an unresolved issue from childhood, there may be some core decision you made when you were a kid that's still there, but it's not conscious: you're not even aware of it. When you're in a situation that feels like that unresolved childhood issue, that creates our over reaction or under reaction.